Weight A Minute
Is it because of my size that I am treated the way that I am? Seems like only evil ppl want to be around when you are heavy...yeah FAT!
The men that I've encountered like to tell me how much they want to have sex with me and not subtlty, but blatant and disrespectful.
I like to believe I forgive so much from the people who've harmed me in my past but then those second and third chances always come back to bite me in the ass. Getting on a plane alone for the first time in my life but thinking I had a friend to enjoy the experience with me I ended up alone in Vegas. Continue to befriend liars...Feel like I deserve what I get from these people...I am so weak minded that it takes me some time to figure out what this people are doing to me. It's only after these people aren't in my sight for me to have a clear thought process. Do I want to fit in with someone so bad that I'm willing to endure constant shame. Why do I amuse them? What is it about a kind heart that is so offensive to them? Why do I allow them to matter? What am I learning about me with this continued harmful relationships and that's with women and men? Hell if I can't get along with anybody then shyt whats really good?
My infatuation with food...have mercy. I keep telling myself I don't like leftovers so I sit and eat all of what I cook so there won't be leftovers. How stupid is that? My love for sweets has become out of this world. But it keeps me happy if only for a moment. This is the main reason for my size. As much as the back of my head tells me to change and hey don't do that, don't eat all of that the other person in me says it'll make you feel better so I keep going to please her instead of the person I should be listening to.
Well today has to be the start of change or I will become an evil bytch who won't be able to distinguish the good from the bad and all will become the same. I have to change what's put inside of me through what I put in my mouth and eyes. I will read words of encouragement only...things that uplift and support the positive change that will be so hard to keep forward on. I will eat better, I will exercise. I will become a better me for me and my daughter. Because her mama is better than this me that is killing me. I vow to live for my daughter and myself...prove me wrong that I am better than whats being shown to me at the moment. I am ready and willing to do something good for me on a regular basis. God loves me and has me under his wing and for that I am eternally grateful. COntinue to work on me and make me over...cause this way I'm feeling right now can not last. I'm up at 3a blogging about yet another triflin useless soul tormenting me...you have no more control over my spirit you evil souls...
The men that I've encountered like to tell me how much they want to have sex with me and not subtlty, but blatant and disrespectful.
I like to believe I forgive so much from the people who've harmed me in my past but then those second and third chances always come back to bite me in the ass. Getting on a plane alone for the first time in my life but thinking I had a friend to enjoy the experience with me I ended up alone in Vegas. Continue to befriend liars...Feel like I deserve what I get from these people...I am so weak minded that it takes me some time to figure out what this people are doing to me. It's only after these people aren't in my sight for me to have a clear thought process. Do I want to fit in with someone so bad that I'm willing to endure constant shame. Why do I amuse them? What is it about a kind heart that is so offensive to them? Why do I allow them to matter? What am I learning about me with this continued harmful relationships and that's with women and men? Hell if I can't get along with anybody then shyt whats really good?
My infatuation with food...have mercy. I keep telling myself I don't like leftovers so I sit and eat all of what I cook so there won't be leftovers. How stupid is that? My love for sweets has become out of this world. But it keeps me happy if only for a moment. This is the main reason for my size. As much as the back of my head tells me to change and hey don't do that, don't eat all of that the other person in me says it'll make you feel better so I keep going to please her instead of the person I should be listening to.
Well today has to be the start of change or I will become an evil bytch who won't be able to distinguish the good from the bad and all will become the same. I have to change what's put inside of me through what I put in my mouth and eyes. I will read words of encouragement only...things that uplift and support the positive change that will be so hard to keep forward on. I will eat better, I will exercise. I will become a better me for me and my daughter. Because her mama is better than this me that is killing me. I vow to live for my daughter and myself...prove me wrong that I am better than whats being shown to me at the moment. I am ready and willing to do something good for me on a regular basis. God loves me and has me under his wing and for that I am eternally grateful. COntinue to work on me and make me over...cause this way I'm feeling right now can not last. I'm up at 3a blogging about yet another triflin useless soul tormenting me...you have no more control over my spirit you evil souls...
that's right...get mad...and get even by making yourself better than what you already are.. you are a sweet person and people who take advantage of you and use you are EVIL...but you have to grow and you have to really learn to love yourself and put yourself first and watch how them people fall out of your life #realtalk.. the journey ain't an easy one, but it will be a worthwhile one, i can promise you that..
ReplyDeletedo me a favor...buy a tennis racket...if you serious about getting into shape..i am willing to be your partner some days
ok
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