MyGrowth

I sit and reminisce about how good last night's session was and how good you made me feel. your response i'm more into the thoughts i had before sex not the session itself. WTF?!? i remember every action that took place and how exactly i felt at those moments and to hear that you dont think about it makes it seem like you not really into our sex. Am i wrong for feeling that way?

She decided to end things with me because I wasn't motivated. I talk a good game but I don't put action behind it. I have complained on my ownself about this bad trait and habit that is definitely associated with my depression. I want to do so many things but I do not have the energy or drive to get there at a pace that gets me where i need to unless I'm pushed and have no other choice. I have reverted back to bad habits soaking in my misery trying to understand how I'm suck a bad person to love. Why I can't keep any relationship? How I left what i was okay settling for to go into the new life, how I became so immensely happy and let it all go? Rough Rough past couple of weeks. I lose everything but she moves on and maintains her life.

Since the breakup i've found a way every day to tell her she's made a mistake, that it wasn't the right time for us not to be together. I wake up daily with her on my mind. my mind wanders and her face is the first thing i see. i find myself trying to pleasure myself and it feels wrong because i'm thinking of her. but i know that we are not gonna get intimate. i find myself still crying over the idea that we are no longer a couple, friends, but not a couple. i shared a lot of my firsts with her, i've grown in the last year with her. the pain of talking to an ex daily like you did when you were a couple knowing that she doesn't love you the way you still love her. Every day it hurts. every day i ask God to make me stronger. I try to hold onto faith that what is meant to be will be, she was guided to me this time why not wait for the future. then i get scared, what if she finds someone else, all while i'm waiting for her to come back to me. cause in r...

you walked in that summer we kept it cordial but wasn't quite friends. But that second summer you returned there was a chemistry and energy that I will never forget. I remember that day well, it was the day I said from here on out she will never not be in my life. And i held that promise true. we didn't hang out much except at work during lunch hours but once summer was over and she went back to school we talked often but not much. I went on about my life with old boy and whoever else i was dating, purely knowing that I had a friend for life in her. As i said we spoke but not too often, I remember having a happiness in the pit of my stomach every time we spoke. i remember hearing her voice just gave me a bit of life i wasn't used to. but i never paid attention to it, just knew we were friends. then we started to talk a lil bit more and my heart strings pulled a lil harder. The more we talked the happier I became with life. I moved different, i thought different, ...