MyGrowth

it was your sperm that created me yet you are ashamed of me and would rather she is your daughter or at least thats how I feel. I wish sometimes I was like these girls who didn't have a father, hell it's like I didn't thats why I'm still searching for his love. I'm beginning to hate you with a passion. Why should I feel that way about my own dad? I accepted you as a friend on FB so i watch what I say most of the time. But I notice that when she says hello you jump to say hey niece #2, but I say hi and I never hear from you. you used to send me these crazy sext messages which I felt was inappropriate for a father to send to his child especially his daughter but I dealt with it and pretty much just ignored it. I'm the dark black and fat child that none of ya'll ever wanted. Why the fuck should I feel this way at 30? I can't even understand your dislike for me what have I ever done to you. All I wanted to do was be loved and I never felt it from you...

My baby started her first dance class, I spoke to my cousin that I haven't really spoken to in years and I finally made the committment to my friend or at least showed that I'm interested in really taking it to the next level. Still looking for work but I did however complete my paperwork to go to school. Now just to start. Dancing with the Stars has started. It's a good week now Saturday is next dance class...yayyy! oh and it was the first PTO, starts off with a good number of attendees and then it's usually just the first few that finish up.

What Would you do if every time you fell in love with someone you had to say good-bye? What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy, there would be 10 moments of sadness? What would you od if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you and truly cherish you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and always will. I'll Always Be there In times of trouble, IN times of Need If you are feeling Sad, you can count on me I will give you a wink, until you smile Gi...

Growing up I used to sit with my father and love to watch the game. Because it's what he loved and I love being around daddy...DADDY'S LIL GIRL. For years I refused to watch the game that I loved and shared with my father. I went against the team he rooted for because I wanted to distance myself from him and anything he liked. But slowly this year I've started to really take notice of the game again. Still not into the players and all that I just love the game...oh and Ray Lewis (ravens #52). I know why I've turned back into my love of the game and I'm just happy that I have a lil part of me returning because I lost a lot of who I was and gaining me back is what I've always wanted.

I have gained weight over these last 10 years when I was told to lose weight or lose sight. I've had numerous family and friends try to help me lose the weight only for me to turn my back on them. I walk in a place and the immediate eyes tell me that they don't approve of my size. My infatuation with food is crazy. I begin to eat because I'm hungry and then it starts to taste so good that I want to continue eating and then I get full and still want more because it taste good. Take today for instance I made some lasagna and after the first two servings I went back for one more...why? I have no answer for that. I said that I needed counseling maybe that will help me with my obsession with food and then I won't eat as much. I don't like my size but I have become comfy with it. Is it my way of having an excuse for why I am an outcast? I went to my gf's baby shower yesterday (9/11) and saw how everybody was greeted but I wasn't. I noticed that I was the b...