MyGrowth

why am i really considering friending my bff girlfriend. why do i feel like this is important to me? why is my friendship with my bff so critical to me, the thought of not having her is heartbreaking? like i already know i'm in love with her but i don't want to be with her so why not be cool with whoever she's in the relationship with? why not find out who is taking my place? this place i'm in right now is very strange, hurtful and weird, but its my life. i don't know anyone who sits in these shoes who i could get some form of advice from. i waited patiently for two years to be with my bff, working on our friendship and she has a gf now. my heart is broken into shattered pieces but i still love her and i want her happy. i'm not threatened by this new person because i still have my friend, but why? I pray for this woman every day, she's in my thoughts and prayers on a daily. i talk to God about her every day. i just don't understand what the h...

She broke the 2 year streak, I finally got some head last night...lol! our connection started with just a simple talk, we got along. it eventually became sexual communication but we had already kind of established a cool vibe between each other. something about names that end in 'on...lavaughn, vaughn, dawn and now shavon. not sure where our friendship will go, she's not the obvious choice i would pick, but i like her vibe. let time tell. Tired of the same shyt with DD though. I guess i will need to move all the way on, just not sure how to do that if you actually are in love with someone. speak on it and manifest is what i'm told, yet she has a week visitor. i can't be mad, i got fucked last night...lls! I just want to go home, i'm over today completely. I get to see Deray tomorrow, still debating on seeing Lil Kim. enjoy the weekend i'm way too tired to give an update today but the STREAK IS OVER!

What is happening in my life that I am okay with being just your friend even though I'm in love with you? Why am I changing how I interact with people and changing the way I even describe what a friend is to me? How has this person changed my entire life and with each change I fall in love even more. What exactly is this change gonna be, where exactly will it take me in life? Is this for the best or the worst? I don't recall every being this scared of losing a friend in my life, to bring someone else in would mean changing the entire dynamics of our friendship and that scares the shit outta me. I've never had someone love me completely for exactly who I am. Someone who loves like me. How do you walk away from this person? You don't you learn to love them even more. At least thats what i've planned to do, even if she doesn't want me the way I want her, I'm never allowing her to not feel love because I never have to question love from her. But then t...

First and foremost I've been single for a little over a year and half. I've had a friend but we aren't a couple. We spend lots of time together, hang out all the time, I've met her family, even have gone on vacations and spend holidays together. Still not a relationship...well according to her...lol! So I've ventured out into the world of dating, met a few folks even some I truly like. However, there's one that came at me in a totally different way. First conversation lead to phone sex. She's not local so I knew I would never run into her, so phone sex is fine. then she asks if i love her, now after a few encounters i do realize i have developed feelings for this woman, love is a strong word which i hadn't thought of because shyt i thought we were just having fun. but since you feel that strongly i'll ride along, i've never had someone tell me they loved me first before i'm used to catching feelings first. only now that you not in t...