MyGrowth

Are we as women only looked at as being sex objects? Every new person I'm meeting is only after one thing and aren't afraid to request this and send me sext messages like I've asked to see it. What happened to wanting to know somebody first? I mean what if I turn pyscho after you give me a sample, hell what if you turn into a stalker. I just don't understand with so many STD's going on and AIDS at an all time high why is getting sex the first thing you think of when you see me. I'm flattered that you find me attractive and that you want to pounce me but damn get to see where my head is at first. find out if i'm even worth trouble, let me see if you are worth the trouble. that's whats wrong with us. we go into things prematurely and then regret the mistakes after but then sometimes it's too late because we've made a temporary fix and permanent situation. Take time before you jump my bones please. I am somebody and want to feel important ...

Loving to eat and eating is killing me. I was told to lose weight back in 2001 or I could go blind. I've gained. I went from a size 18 to a 24 in 9 years. I never want to be skinny I love my curves and my thickness as do the men of my life...LLS! But I want to be healthy. I want to find a medium where I can still eat but not so much. My problem is portion control and also not eating right. I rarely eat fruit or veggies but I'll tear chicken up on a daily. Once I can fight this demon I'll be okay and get up off my azz and at least walk more.

Realizing that I do love but with limitations. My wall is so high that I barely let anyone in. Even when I know someone loves me it's hard for me to love them to full capacity. I expect so much and give so little. I want to be loved 100% but I don't know how to love 100%. I ask for guidance daily on this because it's my biggest struggle. I know that he loves me and he shows it all the time but i'm so selfish I forget that he has his own struggles and doesn't want me to be involved 100% until he has a handle on them. But i get upset because I want to struggle with him, yet I have my own struggles that I must conquer in order to be the woman he needs me to be and the mom my daughter needs also. This summer off is for enlightenment and growth. Hoping the time off will give me what I need in my life.