MyGrowth

Where does it lie, how do I get to it? How can I smile and really truly mean it. Today is not the day. but I'm really trying to stay in the happy place. i'm trying to listen to sermons, trying to listen to music, trying to talk with people on FB. nothing is soothing my happy place. i want to cry but i'm at work, tears are strolling but i can't cry how i want. i'd rather be at home right now. how did this day even begin in such a shyt storm. here's what i remember... Saturday was normal, we talked on the phone a few times in the morning. I knew she was going to hang out with some friends is what she said. Okay I'm chilling in the house not doing much today. Went to my moms, saw my nieces and nephew, my mom and brothers. Had a decent time, no complaints. Took my mom to grocery store and to get something to eat, took her home and went in the house. No calls from her, but while home I texted her a few times. I knew she was out so I wasn't tr...

WHAT YOU WON'T DO IN 2020 IS YELL AT ME CAUSE YOU THINK YOU IN THE RIGHT. I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANOTHER MOMENT IN 2020 FROM MICHELLE T OR MARY A. I AM A GROWN AS WOMAN WHO MADE A DECISION WHETHER YOU AGREE WITH MY DECISION OR NOT, I AM NOT A CHILD AND I MADE A SOUND DECISION. YOU'RE NOT TRAINING ME TO FIX CERTAIN MISTAKES OR GIVING ME ACCESS TO MORE IS YOUR FAULT AND I BET YOU WISH YOU TOLD ME MORE SHYT. I'M SICK OF THE BULLSHYT. I'M SICK OF BEING QUIET WHILE PEOPLE USE ME AS THEIR PUNCHING BAG WHEN I KNOW I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG.

strong emotion of irritation that occurs when a need or expectation is not met. strong feelings of annoyance, strong feeling of displeasure and strong feeling of hostility. I AM ANGRY. HOW DO I CHANGE MY MINDSET TO REMOVE ANGER? be naked come to God and ask for forgiveness. be delivered. 7 TYPES OF ANGER: Avoider - keeps anger on the inside, uncomfortable being angry, covers up, simmering volcano (UNHEALTHY) Exploder - express anger freely and often, always angry Exploiter - use and take advantage with anger, enjoys the power anger gives, uses anger to control Grumps - critical/sarcastic always, something critical to say about something or somebody always Passive Agressive - have aggressive behavior done passively, says or does things to cause anger Retreater - use silent approach when problem arises. they go silent Savors - hold onto anger for use at later date once filled to capacity.

It's been quite some time since the last time I wrote anything and whats funny is I stated I couldn't wait to be Mrs. Jackson. Oh how times have changed. I still am striving to be Mrs. Jackson just not quite sure how that journey looks or what they role entails. The journey is a big bumpy and swervy. I'll try to update a bit more often, i know I say this often but I'm generally on here every day, may not get one for the weekend but I need to write somewhere and I need to do better at this thing. I have to refresh my brain and start to do things more for myself to be happy. Writing makes me happy, deciding what to write about now that different. Cause what I don't want is to continue to see the same type of writing. So i'll start with something a bit different today. I've been working on changing my negative mind and working to think more positive and get out of this depressive resentment funk. so i'm working on what i feed my thoughts and my vi...

How I can't wait to become Mrs. Jackson, I finally found someone who loves the same way I do. And it's funny cause she loves me too. So me and bestie are not a couple as we never should've been but I found my match and she's been freaking phenomenal. I never had someone want to love me for me, loves me without wanting to change me, but loves me. its crazy the connection we have. i swear going back and forth here seems like i flip flop but i am a woman and i can change my mind lol! me and the bestie are still great friends, nothing about that will change. 2018 has started off to be very different but very beneficial.I pray that my year 38 continues to bless me with happiness from both my future wife and my best friend. Just when i was ready to give up and just enjoy being single here she comes. they say when you not looking it happens i'll be damned if it didn't. i'm just not dumb enough to watch it walk away, i jumped on it. regardless of the lengt...