MyGrowth

So after years of self hate and putting my love for everyone else first. I finally am chosing me. This long road has not been easy and has caused lots of pain not only in my life but others that have been effected. I have not wrote anything in a long time and I guess it's by time that I start to get these things off my chest and onto something else. I'll highlight some things over time to get some insight, hoping I'll be able to make better decisions and be okay with being single and alone. Using this time time to become a better me. I am in a time of reflection and rebirth. I'll discuss my love life which sort of trumps a lot of things in my life because I've searched for a father's love for as long as I can remember. So I have dealt with the same man for the last 6 years, there was a year break but I have always gone back to him. We built nothing together other than the years we've dealt with each other. He never wanted to progress our relationsh...

I'm not even sure where I belong. For so many years I've played on this line, but at 30 I'm trying to just be mama to my own and child to my parents. but for whatever reason this year I have realized that i have to be both for both and it's not easy. After years of being so low down and trying to lift myself back up. i'm finally on a path to really getting to know who I am and what I'm worth only to be pulled back down a road of darkness by my parents. I'm scared of that road as it was very hard for me to get out of. Do i really want to go back down that path? i'm not even sure yet.